FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize