I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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