Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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