thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
