It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
