he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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