Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
