i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
