Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
