I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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