The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
