hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
