I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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