My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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