Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I want to be your penis for a week.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
