I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
