so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm really busy with my period
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