Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
