So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
