weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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