Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
