he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
