Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
