why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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