Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
