she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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