Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
