Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Fuck appropriateness.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
