I wish I could teleport
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
