I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
