I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
