A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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