suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
