and i looked up. we had an audience...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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