So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
