they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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