The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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