spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she peed on how many people?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
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