There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
