I forgot how hot balto sounded
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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