watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
