His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
