Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
one two three fourrrrnication!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
