chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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