STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
