So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
