There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
