Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
