There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Pooping to opera.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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