she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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