If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize