YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
where am i from again
now i know why i became what i already was.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
