And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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