I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
