It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
