I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
