rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
