i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
