Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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