Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
