I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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