I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i think im in europe. pls send help
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
