I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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