So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
