she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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