so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
