Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize