Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
