you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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