After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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