Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
